Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot
by James Doyle
Summary: Dwight Schrute foils a heist by, and piques the interest of, Shego and discovers his extraordinary talents and abilities. Rated T for action, language, and suggestive dialog.
1. The Heist

_A/N: This is my return to the world of fanfic after a long hiatus, so I might be a little rusty. Please and thank you for any constructive criticism!  
_

_A/N: This is quite possibly one of the weirdest fics I've ever written, one of those you write just to get it out of your head! You all know what I'm talking about!_

Standard Disclaimer: All _Kim Possible _characters are the intellectual property of the Walt Disney Company. All characters from _The Office _are the intellectual property of NBC Universal.

Without Further Ado:

**Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot**

**By**

**James Doyle**

Chapter One: The Heist

"We're being watched," said Dwight Schrute, flatly.

"You're being paranoid," replied Jim Halpert, not looking up from his work.

"I'm not being paranoid, I'm keeping my guard up. There's a difference."

Jim looked up at Dwight and scowled. "Yes, Dwight, there is a difference. Noticing when someone is about to take out the entire office with an AK-47 is having your guard up. Assuming some random car sitting out on the street has any interest in a small-time office supply company is being paranoid."

"You mock me, but that car has been sitting there for the past six hours."

Jim leaned forward and looked Dwight in the eye. "Maybe he's waiting for someone. Maybe he's an undercover cop. Maybe he just got kicked out of his apartment and doesn't have anywhere else to go. Maybe he's trying to pick up a hooker, in which case, he's in the wrong part of town. I don't know, and I really don't care. What I do know is, it's been a really long night, and I just want to get my work done so I can go home and go to bed. Understood?"

"Fine," growled Dwight. "But if something terrible happens here tonight, you'll be to blame."

Meanwhile, the occupant of the vehicle in question observed the Dunder Mifflin offices with binoculars. She detected movement, which dashed any hope that the occupants had merely left the lights on. The presence of several cars in the parking lot reinforced this conclusion. She looked at the clock on the dashboard. Twenty minutes to midnight, and the occupants showed no signs of leaving.

"Dammit," the mysterious woman growled to herself. "He said for sure they'd be out of there by ten. Screw it, I'm going in!"

"Jim," whispered Dwight, poking his head out of the conference room. "Whoever's in that car just got out. I think he's headed around the back. And I think his hands are glowing,"

"Dwight," said Jim flatly, looking up from his work at Dwight.

"Yes, Jim."

"You've had enough coffee for the evening. Go make a preemptive visit to the men's room, sit down at your desk, and do not get up again until your work is finished. We've still got a lot to do."

"Yes, sir," grumbled Dwight.

The mysterious woman skillfully scaled the brick facade of the building, lest climbing the fire escape attract unwanted attention. Once upon the roof, she crawled on her belly, examining the interior of the building with an X-Ray scanner. She carved a piece of out of the roof with a laser pen. She then carefully removed the suspended ceiling panel below it, and dropped quickly but silently to the floor below, having already deactivated the motion sensors remotely.

The woman crept silently through the empty offices of Vance Refrigeration. After a few minutes of searching, she found the only place in the suite secure enough to hold something as valuable as the McGuffin Element: A secure walk-in refrigeration unit, designed for temperature-controlled experiments.

She scanned entered the code she'd been given, and donned the goggles that allowed her to fake the retinal eye scan. She slid the door open, only to find that her plan had been foiled yet again.

"Hi there, Shego. We've been expecting you," said a parka-clad Kim Possible, accompanied by a shivering Ron Stoppable, clad in his normal mission attire.

"It's a little chilly in here," commented Shego, with her trademark sly half-smile.

"Ya think?" barked Ron, his teeth chattering.

"But I'd be happy to heat things up," growled Shego as she ignited her green flames.

Kim delivered a roundhouse kick which sent Shego flying clear across the room. She tossed the McGuffin Element to Ron, who dropped down to the floor and began crawling toward the exit. He was about ten feet from the door when Shego picked him up by the back of his shirt.

"Going somewhere?" she quipped sarcastically.

"Uh, yeah, I'm pretty cold. I was gonna go next door and get some coffee," replied Ron with his normal fake nonchalance.

Before Shego could snatch the element, Kim knocked Ron out of her grasp with a flying tackle. Shego and Kim began doing somersaults over one another to get the upper hand, until they tumbled right through the weak plaster that comprised Scranton Business Park's non-load-bearing walls.

Kim and Shego found themselves in the office next door, behind the secretary's desk, where a confused and scared Pam Beasly looked down upon them. Shego heard a door opening out in the hallway, and instinctively jumped over the desk, flung the door open, and seized Ron Stoppable. She seized the McGuffin Element from his bag, and shoved him aside. Kim tried to attack from behind, but Shego detected her, and came about. A trading of blows ensued.

"What the hell is going on out here?" demanded Michael Scott as he emerged from his office. "Wow, and who are the babes?" he added as he eyes widened like those of a deer in the headlights.

"I'm Kim Possible," grunted Kim, not letting up from her attack. "And this is Shego."

"Shego?" asked Michael. "Do you have a brother named Hego?"

"Yeah, I do. What of it?" replied Shego, still trading blows with Kim.

"And maybe a couple of twins named Wego?" added Michael.

"Okay, dude, you're starting to creep me out."

"Of course, if you were Italian, you'd be Dago!" chuckled Michael, particularly proud of that last pun.

Shego got the upper hand, and tossed Kim across the room, where she landed at the feet of Kelly Kapoor.

Shego turned to face Michael. "That sounded suspiciously like a _racial slur!"_ growled Shego as her hands took on a blinding glow.

_Talking Head Interview: Shego:_

"Bigotry has nothing to do with villainy, okay? It's just stupid! It serves no constructive purpose, and it has no place in an evil regime. A true villain oppresses all people equally, regardless of race, creed, color, gender, or sexual orientation. When I rule the world, you can damn-well bet the bigots will be the first to go."

Shego was just about to vaporize Michael when Dwight dove in front of him, absorbing the energy blast. All of the office workers stood up and gazed catatonically at the spot where Dwight had stood a moment ago (all except Stanley, who had not once looked up from his work throughout the whole ordeal.) To their greater shock, Dwight stood up, apparently unharmed.

"Ooh! I'm a hottie, and you can take heat!" said Shego with a grin more naughty than evil. "What's your handle, babe?"

"The name's Dwight Schrute, and you've chosen the wrong office to beseige!" replied Dwight, as he breathed heavily and gritted his teeth.

Shego rolled her eyes. "I see you've got the corny hero dialog down already."

"Enough," shouted Dwight. "Let's end this once and for all!"

With that, Dwight lunged forward into Shego. He attempted this several times. The first few times, she easily dispatched him with an energy blast. The final blast, however, did not faze him at all, and he was able to take hold of her hands. They wrestled for a spell atop Jim and Dwight's desk, before Dwight sent Shego flying through the ceiling with a swift kick to the solar plexis.

Dwight jumped up through the ceiling and landed on his feet. There, Shego attempted to dispatch him with a larger energy blast. He lost his footing for a moment, then regained it and charged at Shego, with whom he met and began to trade blows. He finally managed to grab hold of her bag, which he tossed into the hole in the roof he made.

"I believe your mission is a failure. Good day to you, Miss Shego," said Dwight coldly as he delivered the Coupe de Grace in the form of a roundhouse kick, sending Shego flying off the edge of the roof.

Dwight returned to the office to find Kim and Ron standing guard over a crowd of frightened office workers (all except Stanley, who had never left his desk or looked up from his work.) Dwight picked up Shego's bag and handed it to Kim.

"I can't thank enough for your help, Mr. Schrute," said Kim.

"I consider it my duty, Miss Possible. Now I would suggest you transport this item to a more secure location. It's obviously too valuable to be held at Vance Refrigeration."

"Agreed," replied Kim as she and Ron made for the fire escape.

After the police had taken statements, Michael Scott decided to conclude the night's business. Jim and Pam brought up the rear as they escorted one another to their cars."

"That has got to be the most intense thing I've ever seen," said Pam.

"Tell me about it," replied Jim. "And just what was up with Dwight?"

"Hmm. He's always bragging about what a skilled fighter he is. I guess it's actually true."

"Yeah, but there was something more than that going on. Did you notice that red glow in his eyes?"

Pam stopped and pondered for a moment. "Now that you mention it, I did notice that. I thought I was hallucinating or something."

"No way. That was as real as it gets. There's something more than meets the eye going on with our Dwight."

**End of Chapter One. More to come soon!**


	2. Manhunt for a Ghost

_A/N: PennDOT is Pennsylvania's version of the DMV, or as we Pennsylvanians think of it, the Seventh Circle of Hell_

**Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot**

**By**

**James Doyle**

Chapter Two: Manhunt for a Ghost

"What's the big, KP?" asked Ron Stoppable as his girlfriend paced around their low-key room at the local Super 8. "We got the McGuffin Element to a secure location. Shego's laid up for at least a few days. Case closed!"

"I don't think so, Ron," said Kim, not looking up from her contemplation of the floor. "Shego had intel. Plus, I don't think she knows any better than us what the Element does."

"You think she's working with someone?"

"I think she's working _for _someone. Wade's analysis of Drakken's financials showed that Shego's last two paychecks bounced. She's in this strictly for the money."

"Think about it, Kim: Is Shego in _anything _just for the money?"

Kim had to admit, her adorably-bumbling sidekick had a point. "Which just goes to what I'm saying here: Shego isn't going to pass up the money _and _suffer the embarrassment of losing a commission. She's going to make another move, and soon."

Ron walked up behind Kim and squeezed her gently on the shoulder.

"You know, KP, if we can get this solved within the next day or two, we're only two hours from New York. Take in a Broadway show? Dinner at the Russian Tea Room? Ice skating at Rockefeller Plaza? A little tonsil hockey on the deck of the Empire State Building?"

Kim turned about, wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck, and brought her face dangerously close to his.

"Ron, you can be surprisingly romantic sometimes."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

_Talking Head Interview: Kim Possible:_

"Serious about Ron? Don't be absurd, he's the love of my life! You don't think he's good enough for me? Just what the hell does that mean, anyway? My advice to anyone who might be watching this: Swallow your pride, take a good look around, and listen to your heart. Trust me, it'll change your life for the better."

_Talking Head Interview: Ron Stoppable:_

"No, I am _not _going to get freaky-deaky with Kim in New York. It's always been understood that with Kim, the virginity and wedding vows are a package deal. Those are the rules of this ride, and I, Ron Stoppable, intend to keep my hands, feet, and other assorted parts inside the vehicle until that day comes."

Ron and Kim were about to engage in some lip action when the Kimmunicator beeped. Kim gave Ron a quick consolation peck on the the lips before answering.

"Go Wade," answered Kim.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" inquired Wade, noticing that Kim and Ron were still standing close. Ron sheepishly released the embrace and backed away.

"I've got the intel you requested on that that Schrute character."

Kim proceeded to paw through Dwight's private life.

"Wow, not even so much as a parking ticket," observed Kim as she examined his PennDOT record.

"I know," said Wade. "It looks like the guy prides himself on being a straight-shooter. He's not perfect, though. There's some evidence to suggest he helped Michael Scott fudge a drug screening."

Kim contorted her face. "Michael Scott. That guy is a such a..."

"Horse's ass?" volunteered Ron.

"Not quite what I was looking for, but it works. Did you get the security cam footage?"

Wade nodded. "Oddly enough, from a camera Dwight himself installed."

Kim fast-forwarded the footage until Shego came within the camera's field of vision.

"You know, she almost looks normal in black and white," commented Ron.

Kim watched as Shego attempted to dispatch Dwight with her energy blasts, of which there were a total of five. The first blast knocked Dwight unconscious for a moment. The following three merely knocked him off his feet, and the fifth did not faze him at all. The footage ended with Dwight and Shego taking their fight to the roof.

"Anything else?" asked Kim.

"There's a weather station on top of another building about a mile away. Let me see if I can enhance the camera footage...done."

Kim watched in awe as Dwight Schrute continually matched and surpassed Shego's speed, skill, and strength.

"So we have someone here who's immune to Shego's energy blasts," observed Kim.

"Not just immune. Shego's energy actually makes him stronger. Check out this footage."

More recent security cam footage showed several arm-wrestling matches between Dwight and Jim Halpert, with Jim winning the majority of them.

"So whatever Shego did to him, it wore off by this morning," observed Kim.

Meanwhile, at the Dunder Mifflin offices, Dwight Schrute lost yet another arm-wrestling match to Jim Halpert.

"I dunno Dwight," commented Jim. "I'm starting to think what happened last night was a fluke."

"That's absurd! I let you win those matches. I'm testing your strength."

"Look, Dwight, we're all grateful for what you did for us last night. But it was probably just your fight-or-flight response, combined with a generous amount of adrenaline. You're just going to have to accept that you're not a superhero."

"Of course I am. I battled a super villain and won. That is the classical definition of a superhero."

"Dwight, I think you've been reading too many comic books."

Just then, Dwight's phone rang.

"Dwight Schrute," answered Dwight in his usual manner.

"Hey babe, how's it going?" asked Shego.

Dwight put his hand over the microphone. "Pam, I thought I told you not take any more calls from you-know-who."

"She didn't call the main switchboard," replied Pam. "She must've dialed direct."

"How did you get this number?" demanded Dwight as he returned to the call.

"Umm, it was listed on the website under 'Contacts.'"

"Alright, what do you want?"

"Listen, I'm not normally this forward, but I like your style. What do you say you and me get together for a drink after work?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't drink with people who try to kill me and my co-workers."

"Are you still pissed off about that? C'mon, babe! It's just business!"

"'Business?' You call threatening my life 'business?'"

"Look, it's how I treat anyone who gets in my way. If you stay out of my way and let me do my job, I think you and I will get along famously."

"Yeah, well you can forget about us ever getting along, famously, infamously, or otherwise. If you come near me or anyone I know, I will destroy you. Good day, Miss Shego," said Dwight as he hung up.

"Was that Shego again?" asked Michael Scott has he came stepped out of his office.

"Unfortunately," grumbled Dwight. "The woman is quite persistent."

"Dude, you should _so _hit that!" whispered Michael.

"Michael, are you mad? She tried to kill you."

_Talking Head Interview: Michael Scott:_

"Three words to describe Shego: Hottest...villainess...ever! Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is about the whole 'trying to kill me' thing. I do listen to what people say around here, and there is not a man, woman, or child in this office who hasn't thought about killing me. I don't let it bug me; it's all perfectly innocent. Besides, all of the hottest women in this world have a mean streak. Jan, for example: Permanent case of PMS. Kelly, too: You should've seen the way she wailed on Ryan when he left. And Pam when I tell her she's hot! Getting all pissy when I try to pay her a compliment. What is up with that?"

_Talking Head Interview: Pam Beasly:_

"No, I don't think it's weird that Shego is into Dwight. I think he's got a lot of potential. I think if he could find a woman who was kind of like Shego, only not as violent and not bent on world domination, he'd be set."

Kim replayed the scene from the Dunder Mifflin office suite in her head. She'd witnessed it with her own eyes, and yet it seemed so unreal. She'd seen superheroes rise before, and always from the most mundane places. She had to admit, a beet farm on the outskirts of Scranton, Pennsylvania was about as mundane as it got. What was the secret of his powers, she wondered, and what could she do to help him harness it?

Suddenly, her Kimmunicator beeped.

"What's the sitch, Wade?" asked Kim as she sprung to attention.

"We've got movement, Kim. Angela Martin was just nabbed from the Dunder Mifflin parking lot."

"It's gotta be Shego. Do you know where she is now?"

"I've got a GPS lock on her cell phone. I'm not surprised Shego hasn't found it yet, considering where she keeps it."

Kim's face contorted. "Double eww! Thanks Wade, we're mobile."

Kim woke Ron from his nap. Without questioning the situation, he quickly donned his mission shirt over his t-shirt and followed her out the door.

**End of Chapter Two. Stay tuned!**


	3. The Meeting

_A/N: Look for shout-outs to other franchises I like._

**Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot**

**By**

**James Doyle**

Chapter Three: The Meeting

_Talking Head Interview: Dwight Schrute:_

"Of course Shego finds me irresistible. I cannot explain it to you. It is something only those of us directly involved in the struggle between good and evil can ever truly understand. Either one of us will die in this conflict, or Shego will turn from her evil ways. If that happens, a relationship is a remote possibility."

Dwight had stayed at the office late in order to complete the work that had been interrupted the previous night. His co-workers of course left at five o'clock on the tick. Dwight muttered a few semi-polite greetings as his co-workers left, including Michael Scott. As much as Dwight respected and looked up to Michael, he relished the productivity that the lack of distraction from Michael afforded him.

Around six-thirty, a secure message arrived in his inbox. Sensing the urgency of such a message, Dwight lay aside all of his other tasks.

From: shego at doofenshmirtz dot net

To: schrute at dundermifflin dot com

Subject: Meet with me or else!

Dwight:

I've done my homework on you. I know you're not going out with Angela anymore, but I also know you still care about her. We need to talk. Now. Meet with me at 9 PM tonight at the following location, and Angela will be released unharmed:

Ed's Auto Salvage

12075 Industrial Blvd.

Patterson, NJ 07503

Yours in Evil,

Shego

_Get your own Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc. secure villain e-mail account at doofenshmirtz dot com _

Dwight immediately took off out the door and down the stairs, leaving his jacket in the office. He took off out of the parking lot like a shot, nearly getting himself broadsided by a garbage truck.

Meanwhile, Kim and Ron made best possible speed down I-80 toward the same destination.

"Remind me again why we had to rent this hooptie-rig," complained Ron, frustrated by the relatively lackluster performance of the Dodge Neon they'd rented.

"The tweebs are making some upgrades to my ride. Besides, I wasn't about to _drive _two thousand miles to Scranton," replied Kim, as she negotiated at eighty-five miles per hour from the left lane to the right lane through a single car-length hole between two semi-trucks.

Ron continued to protest. "Well, you could've called in a favor."

"Ron, I'm not gonna waste a perfectly good favor on a ninety minute drive from Scranton to Patterson."

"It's actually about a two hour drive, KP."

"Not the way I drive," she replied as she swerved back into the left lane to avoid a collision with an unskillfully-pilot Winnebago.

"Point taken," said Ron flatly as he held for dear life onto the "Oh Shit!" handle above the door.

Presently, they passed under a sign that read "Toll Plaza: 1 Mile."

"Frack me!" exclaimed Kim. "They weren't supposed to put this in until next year!"

"I'm on it, KP," said Ron, retrieving the Kimmunicator from the ashtray. "Wade, any possibility you can make this thing read like an EZ Pass tag?"

"No problem," replied Wade.

Kim proceeded at full speed through the express EZ Pass lane as Ron held up the communicator for the sensors to read.

"You rock, Wade!" complimented Kim as they left in the dust much of the traffic that had bogged them down.

At about that time, Shego observed from the security cameras as Dwight wandered around the vicinity of the trap door she'd set for him.

"A little to your left, Dwight. Okay, now a little to the right. Now take a step back. No, not forward, back! Argh! So obviously new at this hero thing," mused Shego. As he walked clear of the trap door, Shego opened it, then walked over to it.

_Talking head interview: Shego:_

"Dwight Schrute is (expletive) hot! Tight bod, great hair, no-nonsense personality, sharp mind, lightening-fast reflexes. Dude has it goin' on. Yes, he's immune to my energy blasts. That's the whole point! I'm not always right, and for any relationship I'm in to be in any way an equal partnership, I need a man who's willing and able to stand up to me. Do you think I want a boyfriend I can just push around? Hell no! That's what I have Dr. Drakken for!"

"Dwight, I'm down here!" yelled Shego, up the shaft. Dwight jumped down the shaft, not realizing how high it was. Shego acrobatically scaled the shaft, caught Dwight, and brought him down safely.

"Dammit, Schrute! You can't do that sort of thing unless you know how to land!" scolded Shego.

"Your concern overwhelms me," grunted Dwight, shaking off Shego's grasp on him.

"Ooh, sarcasm! I see you're learning," said Shego, her naughty grin having returned.

"Enough with the chatter," barked Dwight. "I'm here to ensure Angela's safe return. Once that's done, you and I have no further business.

"Fair enough. Have a seat," said Shego as she pointed to a couch that had been the back bench of a fourteen-passenger Chevy fan it its glory days. Dwight shook his head defiantly.

"Sit down!" roared Shego, pointing a flaming hand at Angela, who hung from the far wall by a towing chain. Dwight took a seat, and a set of automatic seat belts intertwined to retrain him.

"I knew I shouldn't have come. This was so obviously a trap," said Dwight.

"Oh, cool your jets, babe!" replied Shego. "This is so not a trap!"

"Prove it," demanded Dwight.

Shego pointed two fingers at Angela and released an energy burst that broke the towing chain holding her to the wall. Angela fell to the floor.

"Beat it, skank!" ordered Shego, firing two warning shots above her head. Angela ran for the exit, screeching at the top of her lungs.

Kim and Ron arrived on the scene just in time to hear Angela's screeching. They found her at the bottom of the shaft leading to Motor Ed's lair.

"Angela! Are you okay?" mouthed Kim, not wanting to attract Shego's attention.

"Get me out of here, you morons!" shouted Angela.

Since Angela hadn't mentioned them by name, Kim figured Angela hadn't necessarily blown their cover. Kim jumped down the shaft. She deployed her grappling hook, which slowed her fall, and placed her gently on the ground beside Angela. Angela held onto Kim as she retracted the grappling hook and pulled them up out of the shaft.

"You're welcome!" called Kim after Angela as she stormed off toward her car.

"Teenage hussy!" replied Angela.

"Ugh! Judgmental much?" protested Kim as Angela left earshot. Ron nodded in agreement.

"I think we need to find another entrance," suggested Ron.

"Right," said Kim.

Meanwhile in, down in the lair, Shego took a moment to bask in Dwight's helpless condition.

"I'm started see why Dr. D enjoys this so much," commented Shego with a bit of a chuckle.

"So this is your evil lair," commented Dwight. "Somehow, I'd expected something a bit more glamorous from someone like you.

Shego let out one of her distinctive belly laughs. "This is Motor Ed's pad. He's out on a bike trip in South America with Gemini. He'll be gone for a few months, so I'm subletting. Normally I live with my boss."

"I've kept my eye out for news items on Dr. Drakken. I suspected he might be behind the Vance Refrigeration heist."

Shego laughed again. "I'll be happy to help Drakken with his latest lame-brained scheme when he can afford to pay my salary. In the meantime, I've been pulling contract jobs to stay sharp and pay for my hair treatments."

"You're telling me the Vance job was outsourced to you?"

"You got it, babe. Cripes, I don't even know what a McGuffin Element does!"

"It's obviously quite valuable if your employer hired someone of your caliber to procure it."

Shego chuckled. "I appreciate the flattery, babe, but you're not gonna get me to give up my employer's identity. He insists on the utmost discretion, and given what he's paying, I have every reason to honor that."

"Honor among thieves?"

Shego snorted. "Please! I've shopped around. Everyone else either can't beat his price, or isn't interested in the merchandise. How he managed to outbid Jack Hench, I'll never know."

"It's all moot, anyway. I turned the security cam footage over to the police. Your involvement in this escapade is now well-known."

Shego shrugged. "I've already talked to my employer about it. He's still willing to deal, provided I can deliver the merchandise."

"And you're telling me all of this why?"

Shego leaned close to Dwight, placing her hands on either side of him, careful not to make physical contact.

"It wasn't hard to figure you out, babe. All my intel suggests you're a six-foot-four two-hundred-pound weakling. It wasn't until I pumped enough energy into you to run Coney Island for two summers that you started kicking ass and taking names. As you sit right now, you're completely harmless, and I have the upper hand."

"Ah, yes," said Dwight with sly grin on his face. "But the moment you decide to fight me, I'll be a match for you." Dwight gulped. "That is, unless of course, you intend to shoot."

Shego smiled. "Not my style, babe. I'll tell you what is my style, though: You."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Let's be honest, I'm not used to facing Team Possible solo. It'd be nice to actually get the upper hand on our dear Kimmie. Without me, Dwight, you're just a nobody who sells paper. When we're together, near as I can tell, you are a full-on badass!"

"What makes you think I'd even consider joining you?"

Shego chuckled deep in her throat. "Let's be honest here, babe. You thoroughly enjoyed kicking my ass. You liked having the power, you liked being respected and feared. I'm offering you just that. You can quit being Michael Scott's bitch-boy, and I can tell Dr. D to take a flying (expletive) at a rolling donut...wow, I could never say that before."

"NBC's censorship rules are slightly less stringent than those of the Disney Channel."

Shego purred. "Be my partner, and you and I can do things they won't air on Showtime!"

Dwight shook his head. "If your evil is the key to my potential, then it is best left untapped. Shego, the answer is no."

Shego sighed. "There is one small unpleasantry to attend to. As much as I'd like to leave you to go about your pathetic little existence, you still pose a threat to me. Sorry babe, but I can't let you live."

Shego darted out of the way as a crane arm swung above Dwight, bearing a large defunct vehicle.

"You're going to drop a firetruck on me," observed Dwight.

Shego nodded. "Cheap theatrics are more Drakken's thing. I usually just go with what works. Any last words, babe?"

"You may have won the battle, Shego, but you will not win the war," shouted Dwight.

Shego sighed. "I was hoping for something a little less cliché, but what the hell. Nice knowin' ya!" she said as she pushed the button to release the load. She pressed the button repeatedly, but nothing happened.

"Looking for this?" gloated Ron Stoppable, holding the circuit break for that particular servo motor.

Shego charged toward Ron, only for Kim to spring into action from behind the couch, and kick her out of the way. Rufus the Naked Mole Rat scurried out of Ron's pocket and made short work of the seat belts, freeing Dwight.

"Naked Mole Rap. Classic music video," said Dwight as Rufus jumped upon his shoulder.

"Uh huh, uh huh," nodded Rufus before he took off up the crane. Kim and Shego once again traded blows until Shego throttled her across the room. This was just the opportunity that Rufus had awaited, and he released the claw of the crane arm, causing the firetruck to fall between Kim and Shego. Once Rufus made his way back to Ron's pocket, they seized the opportunity to make a quick exit.

"Okay, time out! Who's car are we taking?" asked Ron as they reached the surface. Just then, a magnetic crane arm came to life, seized Dwight's car, and tossed it into a compacter.

"Your car," said a shocked Dwight.

Kim started the car and did her best to make circuits around the various piles of junk in order to avoid the magnet. They pulled out onto Industrial Boulevard, where the magnet missed the Neon and picked up one of the arriving police cars.

They had only driven a few miles when they came upon an irate Angela Martin, whose car had broken down.

"Stop up there," said Dwight. "We need to get Angela out of here."

"Do we have to?" whined Ron.

Kim sighed. "Yes, unfortunately, we do."

Dwight got out and opened the door for Angela. Ignoring him, she went around to the rear driver's side door from which Dwight had exited, slamming it as she got in.

"Just what were you doing down there for so long, Dwight? Were you flirting with that green hussy?" demanded Angela.

"Excuse me? I was the one who showed up to save your life!" shouted Dwight.

"Well, you failed miserably. Thankfully, this redheaded hussy took care of that for you!"

"Shut your hole, woman, or I will leave you by the road side where I found you!" ordered Kim.

Just then the Kimmunicator beeped. Kim ignored it for a moment to let her anger subside a bit, then answered it.

"Go wade," she answered.

"Kim, I just got word that the McGuffin Element disappeared last night from the Cryotronics Industries lab in Maryland. The thief managed to get in without disabling any of the security systems, so they didn't even realize it was missing until just now."

Kim growled. "So Shego had the element the whole time, and we didn't get it off her!"

"We need to go back and get it," demanded Dwight.

"Not when we've got a chance to take down this racket once and for all," said Wade.

"Why? What's the sitch?" asked Kim.

"With the help of a certain egg-laying mammal, I was able to gain access to Shego's e-mail account. She's meeting the buyer tomorrow night. You'll never guess where."

"The Dunder Mifflin main warehouse in Fishkill," volunteered Dwight.

"That's right! How'd you know?"

"I'm starting to develop some suspicions as to who's behind this."

"Oh, and since you're here Dwight, there's one more thing: I think I've discovered the secret of your powers, and I think we can use it against Shego."

**End of Chapter Three. More to come!**


	4. Get Pumped

_A/N: Yes, I know, minors can't rent cars. I figure Wade hooked her up._

_A/N: I know I promised you a climax, but as sometimes happens, the story took a bit of a detour. It'll be in the next chapter for sure._

**Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot**

**By**

**James Doyle**

Chapter Four: Get Pumped

Kim Possible breathed an audible sigh of relief as she dropped Angela Martin off at her apartment.

"Honestly, what did you ever see in that woman?" asked Kim as they drove off.

"I'll have you know that Angela Martin is a very moral, upright woman," replied Dwight with much indignation.

"Yeah, I'm all for that, but you can do that without being mean and judgmental. I'm not the church-going type, but I seem to remember something about 'love your neighbor as yourself.' Besides, some of the stuff she harps about really doesn't matter in the grand scheme."

"Excuse me, could we focus on the task at hand?" interrupted Ron Stoppable. "Like, for example, why is Wade sending us to the Schrute farm?"

"I haven't a clue, but I'm sure we'll find out when we get there."

In the wee hours of the morning, Dwight labored in the kitchen of his farm house, guided by Wade.

"Do you have that soil sample I asked for?" asked Dwight.

"Yeah, I got it," said a dirt-covered Ron. "I still don't get why I had to dig for it."

"If we're going to confirm my hypothesis, we need an uncontaminated sample," answered Wade.

Dwight dissolved a few grains of the soil sample in distilled water. Using an eyedropper, he placed a drop between two slides and inserted them into the Kimmunicator. Wade came back with an analysis within minutes.

"It's just as I suspected," said Wade smugly.

"Fill us in, Wade," said Kim.

"The theory first hit me when I was researching the area where Dwight grew up. I came across an obscure Native American legend."

"An ancient Native American legend?" asked Dwight.

"Actually, a fairly recent one. In the late seventeenth century, the British forced a thousands of Native Americans off their land. In Northeastern Pennsylvania, they were quite successful, thanks in large part to the wife of one of the redcoats, a mysterious green-skinned woman from India."

"Let me guess: She had glowing hands," volunteered Kim.

"Yeah, I think you see where I'm going with this. Anyway, the Pennsylvania Dutch settlers were happy to coexist peacefully with the Indians. Of course, this also meant they wouldn't lift a finger against the British. There was one notable exception: Whenever the mysterious green woman would cause trouble for the Indians, an equally-mysterious Pennsylvania Dutchman would defend them. They say when they fought, the man would glow red, the color of a beet. That's why his Indian name is translated roughly as 'Root of the Beet.'"

"So what happened to him?" asked Kim.

"Both he and the mysterious woman were shot by British troops. The tribal shaman issued a prophecy that the green woman would one day return to their land, and the Root of the Beet would one day return to do battle with her."

"Whoa, time out!" interrupted Ron. "You expect me to believe that Dwight here is the fulfillment of a Prophecy, like he's 'The One' or something? Wade, dude, I think you've seen _The Matrix _too many times."

"Stranger things have happened, Monkey Boy," teased Kim.

"There is, of course a scientific explanation. I talked to head astronomer at the Middleton Space Center. He said the comet that struck Go City back in the eighties was a fragment of a much larger comet that split up about a thousand years ago. Another fragment struck in vicinity of what is now Scranton.

"I took analyzed some of Dwight's tissue samples, and found trace amounts of the comet material, along with the Voltairium 370 found in unusually high concentrations in the soils of Pocono Region. Dwight has been ingesting beets grown in this soil his entire life. The unique combination of nutrients found in beets has combined with the comet material and the Voltairium to allow Dwight's mitochondria to convert and utilize the heprion radiation from Shego's energy blasts."

"My family has lived on this land for generations," argued Dwight. "None of them have ever had any special powers."

"Natural sources of heprion radiation are extremely rare in our solar system. If you'd never crossed paths with Shego, you probably never would've known."

Dwight held his head up high. "Then it is my destiny to fight Shego."

"Dwight, it is _so _your destiny," encouraged Kim.

"And it doesn't have to stop there," added Wade. "I've got the mad gear that'll keep you in the superhero business."

Dwight smiled. "Where do we start?"

"First, I need to scan your corrective lenses prescription"

Dwight took off his glasses, and a laser beam from the Kimmunicator swept across his face.

"Great," said Wade. "The goods will be on your doorstep by morning."

Ron woke up the next morning to the smell of feet in his face, namely, those of Dwight's cousin Mose, who had decided to crawl into bed with him. Thoroughly creeped-out, Ron ran out of the room clad only in his boxers.

Kim awoke and brought in the care package she found on the doorstep. Dwight opened it, and found a wide array of gadgets and attire Wade had prepared for him.

Dwight emerged from the next room clad in his new costume. He wore a wide-brimmed hat, military-style flak goggles, and a long overcoat over long-sleeved shirt, trousers held up by suspenders, and combat boots.

"It looks like _The Matrix_, Amish-style," commented Kim.

"Please, KP, the man's got a rep to live up to," interjected Ron.

"Good morning," said Wade as his face appeared on the Kimmunicator. "I see you've figured out your new outfit."

"Just one question: Why does my hat have a retractable power cord inside?" asked Dwight.

"I'm glad you asked! Drakken once tried to use Shego's powers to create a death-ray. Global Justice confiscated it, and they were kind enough to show me the specs so I could adapt it into a device to delivers a steady dose of heprion radiation. I was going to put it in your belt-buckle, but then I remember that the Amish don't wear belts."

"You continue to rock Wade," complimented Kim.

"I do what I can," said Wade as he signed off.

"The deal goes down at eleven o'clock tonight," informed Dwight.

"We need to catch them in the act, so we'll be there at nine," added Kim.

"So what can we do until then?" asked Ron.

"I'm late for work," observed Dwight. "We can meet for lunch at 11:30."

"Sounds like a plan," said Kim. "Where would you suggest?"

"Ahem," interjected Ron. "If indeed Scranton is part of the civilized world, then there can be only one choice for dining with one Ron Stoppable."

Kim rolled her eyes, as she knew exactly what he was talking about.

Later that morning, Kim and Ron awaited Dwight at the mall food court.

"This is completely and totally unacceptable!" pouted Ron.

"What's the big, Ron? They have a Bueno Nacho here, obviously," replied Kim.

"What's the big? What's the big? I'm ashamed that _my _girlfriend should even need to ask. Kim, Bueno Nacho must be a freestanding structure. There is simply far too much flavorful artistry to be confined to a mall food court. Would you expect Picasso to create a masterpiece from the confines of a cubicle? I think not!"

Just then, Dwight Schrute arrived. Much to everyone's chagrin, he arrived with Michael Scott in tow.

"Michael, you do realize that Kim is only eighteen, do you not?" mumbled Dwight to Michael as they approached.

"You're saying Kim Possible is legal? Dwight, this is gonna be the best day of my life!" exclaimed Michael, making no effort not to attract Kim's attention.

Michael extended his hand, and Kim reached up to shake it. Instead, Michael yanked her arm upward and kissed her hand. Kim valiantly resisted the temptation to kick Michael's ass into the next parallel dimension.

"A pleasure to see you again, Miss Possible," said Michael with his normal dopey grin.

"Likewise, I'm sure," replied Kim with flat insincerity.

"Forgive me, but it's just so cool to be meeting America's favorite world-saving teenager," beamed Michael.

"Dude, you had no idea who she was two days ago!" growled Ron.

"That's ridiculous!" protested Michael. "I was just confused in the heat of battle."

"You were hiding in your office almost the whole time," retorted Ron.

"Young man, I will not be back-talked in my office!"

"We're not in your office," groaned Kim.

"That's it! Dwight, we're leaving," ordered Michael.

"I'm not going anywhere," protested Dwight.

"Dwight, I just gave you a direct order."

"My contract entitles me to a half-hour lunch break. You agreed to an additional half-hour."

"Which was contingent upon me having a civilized conversation with Kim Possible. Since that's obviously not going to happen, your lunch break ends in ten minutes, which you'll need for the drive back."

Ron interrupted. "I think this gotten totally out of hand. I ordered a naco for both of you. Just take them and go."

"I agree," said Michael as he and Dwight took their carryout bags and walked off.

"I'll see you two after work," said Dwight as he walked away.

_Talking Head Interview: Kim Possible:_

"Why did Ron let Michael Scott have his naco? Because he's better than Michael, that's why! I hear what people say about Ron, and it's times like this that show me what a real man he is."

_Talking Head Interview: Michael Scott:_

"Lunch with Kim Possible was a major disappointment. Oh, the nerve of her to mouth off to me, a successful businessman, a pillar of the community, all because her nerdy excuse for a high school boyfriend couldn't take it. Kim Possible, if you're watching this, you may think you're all that, but you're not!"

Kim and Ron arrived at the Dunder Mifflin office at five-thirty, only to find Dwight still working. Michael Scott had departed for the evening, so Kim felt at ease to wait inside.

"You have a lot of nerve showing your face around here," growled Kevin Malone.

"Excuse me?" protested Kim.

"Oh, you know why. After what you did to Michael, he was so pissed off he made us work late."

"Uh, Kevin, we needed to catch up on what we didn't finish last night, anyway," noted Oscar.

"You stay out of this," barked Kevin.

Andy Bernard got up and stood between Kevin and Kim. "Hey, Kevin! Go easy on these guys. They did rescue Angela, after all."

"Fine," said Kevin, returning to his work.

_Talking Head Interview: Ron Stoppable:_

"Okay, I'm gettin' a freaky vibe from that Oscar dude. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was into me."

Meanwhile, Kim passed the time making idle chat with Kelly Kapoor.

"So you actually busted Camille Leon? I'm glad. She's such a poser, and the way she treats her cat is criminal." asked Kelly.

"Yeah, twice," gloated Kim. "The second time she actually tried to frame me up for theft and got me in trouble with the Fashion Police."

"You mean there actually is a Fashion Police?"

"Yep. Gave Ron a pretty hefty fine."

"Well, they need to come around here and give Angela a life sentence."

"I heard that," mumbled Angela.

"Nobody's talking to you," replied Kim and Kelly in unison.

Finally, around seven o'clock, Dwight Schrute concluded his work.

"I apologize for the delay," said Dwight to Kim and Ron as they made for the roof.

"No big," assured Kim. "We all have to do the mild-mannered thing. Comes with the territory."

"Uh, KP, why are we headed up to the roof?" inquired Ron.

"I just checked the traffic report for I-84. It's brutal! The jetpacks are our best bet."

"Aren't we pushing their range just a little bit?"

"It's a risk we'll have to take."

"I believe I can be of assistance here," offered Dwight as he handed Kim and Ron each a fuel canister.

Kim began to admonish him."Wait a minute, Dwight, how will you fuel your..."

Before Kim could finish her sentence, Dwight glowed beat red, then shot off into the sky under his own power.

"...jetpack."

After staring at one another for a moment, Kim and Ron activated their jetpacks and took off after Dwight.

**End of Chapter Four. Stay tuned for the showdown!**


	5. The Showdown

**Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot**

**By**

**James Doyle**

Chapter Five: The Showdown

After a few minutes in flight, Kim and Ron caught up to the rookie superhero.

"Possible to Beetroot. Do you copy, over?" said Kim into her radio earpiece.

"Affirmative, over," replied the crimson crusader.

"We'll be landing in approximately two minutes. You don't want to come in too hot. Follow my lead, over."

"Affirmative, over."

"See you on the ground, Beetroot. Over and out."

The heroes descended onto the roof of a lone building on a hilltop at the end of a winding mountain road.

"It looks sort of small for a warehouse," observed Kim.

"It's an decommissioned missile silo," informed Beetroot. "The building merely houses the loading docs. Most of the inventory is kept underground."

"In that case, we can forget about either of them using the front door," said Kim as she produced her Kimmunicator.

"What's up, Kim?" asked Wade as he came on screen.

"Wade, I need blueprints for a decommissioned missile silo in Fishkill, New York."

"One moment please...coming your way."

"Thanks Wade."

The heroes found their way inside the building to the main loading bay. They quickly found the grate covering the secondary access shaft. Kim removed the grate. Beetroot levitated just high enough in the air for Kim to take hold of his waste. Ron in turn took hold of her waste. Together, they descended slowly down the shaft.

Once they'd touched down, they donned their night vision goggles, all except Beetroot, who could see perfectly well in the dark. Suddenly, a bright light appeared in Kim and Ron's goggles, nearly blinding them.

"Good evening, ladies and gents," greeted the familiar voice. "I've been expecting you."

"Shego," grumbled Kim. "I should've known this was a trap."

"Yes, Kimmie, you should have. Do you honestly think I'd make such an important communique from my e-mail account?"

"You just couldn't resist springing a trap on us, could you Shego?" said Ron.

"Oh, you two flatliners are just the olive in my martini," said Shego with a slight chuckle.

"So it's me you want," observed Dwight.

"You got it, babe. Why do you think I was fixing to drop that firetruck on you? It's like I told you, I renegotiated with my employer. So now you're a part of my end of the deal."

"In case you haven't noticed, Shego, we have you at a disadvantage here," boasted Kim.

Shego let out a belly laugh."Take a look at what you're standing in, Kimmie."

Kim and Ron attempted to pick on their feet, but could not.

"Is this some kind of glue?" asked Ron, trying in vain to free himself.

"Yep. New and improved Dunder Mifflin Heat-Activated Contact Cement. My employer's own formulation. It takes about ninety seconds to cure, just long enough for a good villain rant."

"Seems a bit old-fashioned," commented Kim.

Shego shrugged. "Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Besides, suspender-boy here is powerless as long as I refuse to fight him. This way, there's no need."

"Suspender boy? Babe? Did you ever respect me at all, Shego?" pouted Dwight.

Shego sighed. "Fine. We've got a few minutes until your impending doom. Until then, we can talk about anything you want, _Dwight_."

Dwight crouched down. "My name...is _Beetroot!"_ cried Dwight as he burst free of the cement.

"No. It can't be," said Shego, breathless.

"Yes, Shego, it is. I have realized my true potential. And I've done it without you."

Beetroot levitated over to Shego and picked her up by the fabric between her breasts. He tossed her into the air, the flew up and caught her by the ankles.

"Where is the McGuffin Element?" demanded Beetroot.

"Screw you!" roared Shego. Beetroot dropped Shego, caught her again about twenty feet below, then brought her back up.

"I demand you give me the McGuffin Element!"

"Spare me the theatrics, Beetpoop! You don't have it in you to kill me. You may have at some point, but somewhere along the way, you joined up with the likes of Kimmie and the Buffoon, and adopted their whack sense of nobility."

Dwight growled. "You're absolutely right. It is the difference between you and me. But I can hold you here as long as I have to. We'll wait for your employer, and I'll bring both of you to just."

"You needn't wait," called a familiar voice from below. "I'm already here."

"I knew it!" cried Beetroot. "I always knew you were a vile betrayer, but never did I imagine you'd sink this low!"

"Shego, I don't think that hat looks good on Dwight. What do you think?" said the boss.

"I agree," said Shego as she shot the hat off of Beetroot's head. Beetroot used the last of his energy to bring him and Shego safely to the floor. Beetroot prepared to attack when an electric tape dispenser came out of the darkness and restrained him with packing tape. A number of forklifts picked up the pallets on which the heroes sat and carried them into the main warehouse.

"Who is this creeper?" whispered Kim.

"His name's Ryan Howard. He's a sniveling little vermin who used to work with me at the Scranton Branch. Then he got promoted to Vice President in Charge of Regional Sales," replied Beetroot.

"Yes, and that was going quite nicely, until suspender-boy here put in an 'anonymous' tip to the FBI. Which, by the way, my associates had no trouble tracing back to him. Still it was only a minor setback in this 'sniveling little vermin's' plan. I carefully selected Dunder Mifflin for their distribution network and their incompetence of leadership. I found a temp agency that would place me in their employ without suspicion. I gave Jim and Dwight all my best sales leads so they would distribute my wares without casting suspicion on me. I hired Jan Levinson to keep Michael Scott and the stooges at corporate off of my trail, and to make the backroom deals needed to make me Vice President.

"Once I was there, I hatched the final phase of my plan. I launched Dunder Mifflin Infinity as part of an elaborate scheme to finance the manufacture and distribution of my wares using Dunder Mifflin corporate funds."

"And how does Shego figure into all of this?" asked Kim.

"Ah, yes, I was just about to get to my arrest. Shego, why don't you tell them?"

"Ryan had arranged for Vance Refrigeration to get the McGuffin Element development contract. Unfortunately, even though he was out on bail, he couldn't risk getting anywhere near a Dunder Mifflin facility until the operational phase of his plan. Fortunately for him, the best thief in the business happened to be in need of employment. By the way, are you gonna tell us just what the hell that thing does?"

"I'm glad you asked," said Ryan as he stepped into the light. He wore a skin-tight silver suit, with a helmet reminiscent of a laser tag helmet. He took the element, and inserted it into a slot in the side of his helmet. "The McGuffin Element is the primary component for a revolutionary quantum cooling system. The systems in my suit must be ultra-cooled in order to operate with the efficiency I need."

Shego frowned. "I should've guessed that something being developed at a place called Vance Refrigeration might just have something to do with _refrigeration._"

"Cooling cycle complete. System is operational," announced Ryan's suit-voice.

"And now, you will see the true power of my creation," said Ryan, laughing maniacally afterward.

"Didn't take him long to get _that _down, did it?" commented Shego.

Kim nodded. "I think he's a natural."

Ryan extended his arms, causing a hurricane of paper, pencils, pens, paperclips, rubber bands, and various other office products to revolve around him.

"Every Dunder Mifflin product manufactured in the last year contains anywhere from one hundred to ten thousand nanochips of my design. And I control them all, which the power of thought. What you see here is merely the tip of the iceberg. My wares are strategically placed to seize control of key government offices, schools, banks, factories, and businesses. Each will in turn seed my nanochips throughout the world. Within a few a short weeks, the world will be under my control!"

"That's it!" said Shego as she ignited her flames. "I don't help anybody take over the world except Dr. D!"

"And just what exactly did you think he was going to do?" asked Ron.

"I dunno, get revenge on Dunder Mifflin, topple a few multinationals, become filthy stinkin' rich? _That _I can relate to."

"It doesn't matter," interrupted Ryan. "I'm no longer in need of your services. Pleasure doing business with you, Shego."

With that, a squadron of flying CO2 fire extinguishers attacked Shego, giving extra attention to her hands. Several super-sized sheets of paper came together to form a glider for Ryan that resembled a paper airplane. An army of office fans blew upward to lift him out of the warehouse. As soon as he had left, a number of light fixtures burst, causing the warehouse to catch fire.

Rufus came out of Ron's pocket, jumped clear of the contact cement, and chewed the packing tape off of Beetroot.

"Ptuey! Yuck!" reviled Rufus at the taste of the adhesive on the packing tape. Beetroot looked for a bottle of solvent, then decided a highly flammable liquid would not be the best choice under the circumstances. He found a letter opener and cut Kim and Ron loose.

As soon as they were clear of the forklift palettes, Ron threw his arms around Kim's neck and began to sob.

"I love you, Kim. I've always loved you," he cried.

"I know, and I love you too, Ron," replied Kim returning his embrace. "But we're going to get out of this alive."

"You don't know that," cried Ron. At that moment, his sorrow turned to anger. "I can't believe that scrawny little office dork played all of us."

"We only have one chance," said Beetroot. "Shego, we need you."

Shego lay on the floor in a fetal position, shivering despite the rising temperature in the fire-filled room.

"I c-c-can't," she said, shivering, teeth chattering. "I have t-t-to w-wait for my hands t-t-to th-th-thaw. The f-f-feed-b-back pulse c-could k-k-kill me."

Beetroot signaled to Kim and Ron, who came over and lay upon Shego along with Beetroot to warm her.

"That's better," said Shego. "Still not sure if I can do it."

"Listen to me, Shego," said Beetroot. "You may think you're just like Ryan, but you're not. There's still a spark of righteousness left in you. I saw it just a moment ago. We can all get out of this alive, but I'm going to need everything you've got."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

Beetroot lay face to face with Shego. He wrapped his arms and legs around her as best he could and squeezed her for dear. As their faces drew closer, their lips met and their tongues connected. Beams of green energy could be seen flowing out of all parts of Shego, turning crimson red as they flowed into Beetroot. Shego dug her claws into Beetroot's spine. Beetroot winced for a moment at the pain, then became elated as green electrical arcs flowed all across and throughout his body. Beetroot worked a hand free, then signaled for Kim and Ron to come over. They climbed onto his back, and together, they shot up out of the silo, just before the storage shelves collapsed in on themselves and sent a plume of flame high above the warehouse.

Beetroot dropped them about a mile away at the nearest state highway.

"Keep her warm until the paramedics get here," ordered Beetroot.

"Where are you going?" asked Ron, redundantly.

"To finish this once and for all!" exclaimed Beetroot as he shot off into the sky.

Beetroot flew a course roughly parallel to the highway until he spied a convoy of semi-trucks. He dove in for a closer look to find out they were indeed Dunder Mifflin trucks. He descended into the forest and flew a parallel course to avoid premature detection. This sufficed for only a few moments, as Ryan spotted his distinctive red glow from the cab of the lead truck, in which he rode.

The side of one of the trailers opened facing Beetroot. The bottom row of crates opened, and a battery of automatic staplers turned on their sides and opened fire. Beetroot endured the sting of the staples as they bounced off him. The next barrage came from a fleet of paper airplanes, sharpened to razor sharpness. The planes tore at his clothing as he dodged them.

As beetroot pulled up alongside the convoy, an array of water coolers alternately assailed him with blasts of freezing cold and scalding hot water. The final barrage, and by far the most difficult to dodge, came from an army of exacto knives. Bloodied, bruised, but not beaten, Beetroot made his way to the roof of the lead tractor, where Ryan awaited him.

"You're done abusing the fine products of Dunder Mifflin, Ryan. Now it's just you and me," taunted Beetroot.

"I see you're a little low on gas," said Ryan, noting that Beetroot's glow had begun to fade. "Let's see if I can take you."

Ryan lunged forward at Beetroot, knocking him off the truck, where barely caught a grip on the driver's window Ryan was just about to finish him off when Rufus, who had hidden in Beetroot's pocket, ran up Ryan's suit and bit him on the shoulder. Beetroot got to his feet and made his way back to Ryan, who was still trying to shake the naked mole rat running all over him.

Beetroot spotted two bare wires protruding from the bite mark. He tossed aside his gauntlet, then grabbed hold of the wires. He closed his eyes and concentrated with all of his will. The trucks all came screeching to a halt. Beetroot used the last of his energy to direct himself, Rufus, and Ryan out of harm's way, and bring them to the ground for a rough but non-injurious landing. Before Ryan could react, Beetroot pulled the McGuffin element out of Ryan's helmet.

"Warning," said Ryan's suit voice. "System approaching critical temperature. Commencing automatic shutdown."

Kim and Ron arrived a few minutes later with the police, where the found Rufus standing on the shoulder of Ryan Howard, who was fastened to a tree with packing tape, wearing nothing but his underwear.

"Turnabout's fair play, I guess," commented Kim.

"Ouch!" cried Ryan as the cops unfastened him from the tree. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? At this rate I won't have any body hair left!"

"Good," said the officer. "The hard-timers like 'em that way."

Ryan gulped. "Damn you, Beetroot!" he screamed as they loaded him into the paddy wagon.

**End of Chapter Five. Stayed tuned for the conclusion!**


	6. Coda

**Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot**

**By**

**James Doyle**

Chapter Six: Coda

Shego awoke to find herself in a room with a bed, a bath, a keyboard and computer screen, and a small hatch in one of the walls, all of which were filled with a crimson red liquid.

The image of Dwight Schrute came on the screen.

"Good afternoon, Shego," greeted Dwight.

"How long was I out?" asked Shego as she nursed her headache.

"About four days. After twenty-four hours, the doctors were sure you were out of any danger, but there was some concern that you might regain your powers, so they kept you unconscious until they could construct your cell."

"I take it this fishbowl was your idea."

Dwight nodded. "That liquid is a special beet root extract, designed to absorb your energy blasts."

"Ah, so I'd be wasting my time trying to blast my way out."

Dwight smiled. "Be my guest! The system converts your energy blasts into electricity. You actually generate about five kilowatts just sitting idle."

Shego chuckled. "Glad I'm of use to somebody."

"'tis a shame it won't be me," said Dwight with a sly grin on his face.

Shego let out a belly laugh. "Please! I am _so _over you, Dwight Schrute!"

Dwight shook his head. "You can deny it all you want, but you know you want a piece of this."

Shego smiled. "Maybe someday I'll get out of this tank and get me a piece."

Dwight returned her smile. "Perhaps."

Later that evening, Kim and Ron joined the entire Dunder Mifflin family for a celebration in the ballroom of the Plaza Hotel.

"Mind if I cut in?" requested David Wallace, Chief Financial Officer of Dunder Mifflin. Ron graciously stood aside, and went off to request, and receive, a dance with Pam Beasly.

"Miss Possible, I can't thank you enough. Not only were able to foil Mr. Howard's evil plot, but you've ensured the survival of our company in the face of the largest recall in the history of office products."

"No big. Just working my connections," replied Kim, blushing slightly.

"A top-secret contract with an international agency is some connection," commented Wallace.

Global Justice had analyzed the technology in Ryan's control suit, and would be able to neutralize the nanochips so that the office products would no longer be tainted, and thus usable for their original purposes.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Michael Scott announced over the PA system. "There's an item on the news that I thought would be of interest to all of us." The news broadcast appeared on the main projection screen.

"This tape was delivered to news stations around the world. The man in this tape is believed to have foiled the office supply heist in Fishkill, New York," said the news anchor. The message played, and Beetroot appeared on the screen.

"Evildoers of the world, including, but not limited to, Dr. Drakken, Duff Killigan, and Professor Dementor, heed my words: The rest of the world I leave in the capable hands of my esteemed colleagues Miss Possible and Mr. Stoppable. However, anyone who besieges the Land of William Penn, between the two great rivers, and north of I-80, will incur the wrath of Beetroot. Consider yourselves warned."

"You hear that folks," added Michael Scott. "Scranton's got itself a real comic book-type superhero!" Michael raised his glass. "To Beetroot!"

"To Beetroot!" the crowd repeated.

As the evening wound down, Dwight escorted Kim and Ron to the curb to await their cab.

"So what now?" asked Kim.

"I shall do what any good superhero does. I will return to being a mild-mannered paper salesman until Scranton once again has need of me," replied Dwight.

"That's the way to be," said Kim as she kissed Dwight on the cheek.

The corrections officer showed Ryan Howard to his cell, where he met his new cellmate, a muscular fellow with a blond mullet.

"Holy crap! I get to share a cell with you! How funny is that! Seriously!" said Motor Ed, barely suppressing a laugh.

"Nice to meet you," said Ryan, insincerely. "I'm Ryan Howard."

Motor Ed burst out laughing. "You're so pathetic! You couldn't even come up with a cool supervillain handle for yourself!"

"I didn't need a handle. I had the perfect plan, and I almost got away with it. You'd best be showing some respect."

Motor Ed laughed even harder. "So what do you think of this Beetroot dude?" asked Ed, changing the subject.

"He's a putz," said Ryan, not really interested in the conversation.

"Seriously. I seriously can't take a guy seriously in that get-up. Seriously!"

_Talking Head Interview: Jim Halpert:_

"Everybody in this office knows who Beetroot really is. And we're not gonna tell. A superhero's anonymity gives something to the community. What that is, is the thought that Beetroot could be any one of us, and any one of us might be needed in Scranton's darkest hour. Knowing that it could be any of us, it makes us treat one another with just a little bit more dignity and respect. I think that's incredibly valuable, and I think it's something worth keeping a secret for. Let Kim Possible get all the press she wants. I, Jim Halpert, will sleep better tonight knowing our local talent is helping keep the world safe."

**The End**


End file.
